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Don’t Compare Yourself to Others
You see it over and over again – You need to be your own self, not someone else. You need to find your own calling, not someone else’s. You need to measure yourself against your own ideal self, not another person’s standard for you.
Instead of putting these helpful reminders into practice, though, we often let them sit on the back burner where they sour into resentment. How fair is that? We often think about comparison as something negative, but it’s actually neutral and can be either healthy or unhealthy depending on how it’s used.
For example: When you compare yourself to others and say “I wish I was like her so I could have that life too” rather than “I’ll never be able to have that life because I’m just not her. And that’s okay! Yes, she has a nice voice, but who knows what else she might be hiding underneath all those clothes? Maybe she has buck teeth, bad taste in music, and no sense of style… It doesn’t matter anyway because I am who I am which is perfect for me!” We all have different talents and abilities. Let’s celebrate our differences instead of judging them.
Be the Best Version of Yourself
Comparing yourself to others is like trying to run a race with someone with a broken leg. You have to run so much faster than usual just to stay in the same place. Instead of comparing yourself to others, try to be the best version of yourself. Begin by asking yourself what your strengths are, and then ask why. You should always know why you are doing something, and that reason should be yourself. Identify your weaknesses and decide what you can do about them. Make a plan for improvement for yourself, and then stick to it. Those around you will notice your improvements and will have a different opinion of you than they once had.
Understand That Comparison is Natural
Comparing yourself to others is natural, but it doesn’t always help you. When you compare yourself to others, you’re usually looking at the things you’re lacking. When you don’t have something, you want it. You want it because it’s something you don’t have. You don’t have to worry about comparing yourself to others when you’re focused on what you have that’s different from them. You can also focus on what’s similar between you and someone else. You probably have more in common with others than you realize. That’s what makes comparison so dangerous. Even when you’re looking at similarities and differences, you’re comparing yourself to them. Instead of comparing, try to focus on what you have.
Why You Shouldn’t Be Discouraged by Comparison
Comparing yourself to others is natural, as I have already mentioned, but that doesn’t mean you should be discouraged by it. In many cases, discouragement is a product of unhealthy comparisons. You might be comparing yourself to others in a way that is unbalanced. You might focus too much on what someone else has and not enough on what you have. You might be comparing your present to their future. You might be comparing yourself to someone you don’t even know. You might be comparing yourself to someone who doesn’t even exist. You might be comparing yourself to someone who just doesn’t care about the things you do. You might be comparing yourself to someone who has it all figured out. You might be comparing yourself to someone who is just going through something you don’t understand. You might be comparing yourself to someone who doesn’t even care about the things you care about.
3 Tips to Help You Stop Being Discouraged by Comparison
The first step in stopping yourself from being discouraged by comparison is to identify when you’re actually being discouraged by it. The second step is to stop comparing yourself to others in a way that is unbalanced. The third step is to focus more on what you have instead of what others have.
Take Care of Yourself Physically and Mentally
If you don’t take care of yourself physically, you stop being able to take care of yourself mentally. You have to be in a good state of mind to be able to make the right decisions. If you’re always letting yourself be discouraged, by comparison, you’re letting yourself down. You have to be able to keep your head up, even when you’re down, to be able to take care of yourself mentally. If you’re not able to do that, you need to take care of yourself physically before you can take care of yourself mentally.
Surround Yourself With People Who Build You Up, Not Bring You Down
If you’re surrounded by people who bring you down, what do you expect? You can’t be the best version of yourself when someone else is continually bringing you down. If you’re surrounded by people who bring you down, they probably don’t even realize they’re doing it. They’re probably just doing what they usually do, and they may be offended by your request to change. You can’t control what other people do, but you can control how much you allow them to influence you. If you’re being continually discouraged, by comparison, you might need to distance yourself from certain people. You don’t have to cut them out of your life completely, but you do need to put some distance between you and them. You can still be around them and just avoid the topics that cause you to be discouraged.
Don’t Make Decisions Based Solely on Comparison
If you’re always letting yourself be discouraged, by comparison, you’re going to make terrible decisions. You’re going to be unbalanced in your judgments, and you’re going to be focused on the wrong things. If you’re always comparing yourself to others, you’re going to make decisions based solely on what you don’t have and what you wish you had. You won’t be able to see what you do have and what you’re capable of doing. You won’t be able to make the right decisions for yourself. You won’t be able to look at what you have and what others have and make the right decisions for yourself. You’ll end up being misjudged, and you won’t be able to do anything about it because you won’t see it coming.
Comparing yourself to others is natural and often beneficial, but it’s easy to cross the line from comparison to discouragement. You can avoid discouragement by making sure your comparisons are balanced and focused on what you have that is different from others. You can also avoid discouragement by taking care of yourself physically and mentally and surrounding yourself with people who build you up, not bring you down. Finally, don’t make decisions based solely on the comparison. Instead, use comparison as a tool to help you make better decisions.